Why We’re Losing Interest in Church Online
How rituals can help shape our desire for digital discipleship
Baseball players are known to be ritualistic. Many of them have noted that they believe their rituals help them stay at the top of their game and maintain win streaks. You’ll see them kiss necklaces and point to the sky, pat their helmet, or wear rally caps in the dugout during a game. Some players are known to eat certain food before games, write words in the sand, not bathe on game days, and refrain from shaving during win streaks. This is part of what makes baseball special to many of us. Others find these practices ridiculous.
The truth is all of us participate in rituals.
Whether it’s the morning routine before work, bedtime with the kids, or sleeping in on Saturday, we all maintain some level of habits and traditions to get us through the day and focus our attention on what matters most.
…I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with online church services and small groups…
A few days ago, I was talking with a good friend and community group leader at Fielder about why it’s been so hard to keep people engaged in online church services and small groups. Not only has it been difficult in our context but Barna’s research has shown that this challenge exists across the church in America. He made a comment in passing that I thought was profound. He mentioned that his family no longer has the rituals and routines that they associate with going to a church service on Sunday morning.
I immediately resonated with his comment. Since I work at a church, this is my typical Sunday morning routine:
5:30 am — Wake up, make coffee, do devotional, maybe exercise
6:30 am — take a shower and get ready for church
7:00 am — get kids ready for church, eat breakfast
8:00 am — Leave the family at home while I go to church to prepare for services
9:00 am — Pick up the family and bring them to church
9:15 am — walk through the church doors
Not only do we have rituals during church services like baptism and communion, but we also have rituals before and after church services.
In our family, we also have rituals surrounding community group that meets in our home on Wednesday evenings — I come home early from work, we panic clean, put some nice smelling candles out, and prepare whatever food we’re going to eat with the group.
Here is why this is important:
our rituals and routines direct our desire.
Desires will indeed determine our behavior. But it’s also true that our consistent behaviors and habits shape our desires. So when my friend connected our lack of routine to our lack of desire to meet digitally, I began to wonder, “Is part of the reason that we’re becoming disinterested in online gatherings because we have yet to develop the routines needed to cultivate it?”
As a church leader, I’m also beginning to ask the question, “Have I spent too much time developing the online tools and content, and not enough time developing the practices we need to sustain digital and “phygital” discipleship?”
A few months ago, our church did something called the Sabbath experiment. We challenged people to experiment with rituals that would help them rest from sundown on Saturday to sundown on Sunday. I’d like to invite you to a new experiment. Would you join me in experimenting with some new rituals intended to keep us engaged in online forms of worship, discipleship, and community?
Here are some suggestions:
1. “Treat Yo Self”
Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Because the word of God is associated with a pleasant physical taste, the Jewish people developed rituals to give to children honey to teach them how good the Word of God is. I implement this principle by reading the Bible each morning in my favorite chair along with a good cup of coffee. This helps me connect my senses to how pleasant the Word is. It also helps me maintain a Godly habit that I enjoy.
Try this with your online church and community. “Treat Yo Self” to good food, drinks, or treats during your digital gathering. Find a comfortable place to sit and talk. We’re used to having dinner, snacks, and desert during physical small group meetings. Let’s not lose that practice when we meet virtually.
2. Prepare
Be honest…how many times have you tuned into a church serve or group meeting while making a sandwich, driving your car, putting kids to bed, or going to the bathroom? We’ve all tried to “participate” while really focusing our attention on something else. The convenience of being able to connect on our cell phone can make it too easy.
When we go to physical meetings we must physically prepare. This may seem obvious, but it needs to be said: we need to be prepared digitally AND physically before our virtual gatherings. Get dressed, make dinner, have a plan with the kids, clean your space, test your technology before your church meetings. At Fielder, we celebrate the Lord’s Supper each week. So, part of being prepared is making a habit of purchasing supplies and having them set out before the service begins.
For most of us, these preparatory routines went without saying pre-COVID. But I have not been consistent in these habits when meeting digitally and my laziness is fostering disinterest in things the Lord wants me to be fully engaged in.
3. Unmute
Most of us have been trained and have now created a habit of keeping our microphone muted (and sometimes video off) during group meetings. A lot of us need to unlearn this habit.
We do not communicate in the same way over conference calls as we do in person. However, we should make it as close as possible. The mute button does NOT help with this. If there is excessive noise or you’re in a large group, absolutely, press mute. But for most small groups and discipleship environments of 3–20 people, muting creates a habit of inactive participation. It makes it too easy to be present, but not participate in the same way that you would if you were in person.
I’m even guilty of using the mute and video off so that I can go an accomplish some of the tasks that I didn’t prepare for in advance. This is a bad habit. We must nurture better rituals to stay engaged and grow our desire to participate online.
Online environments are not preferred for many of us. But I believe that part of the way forward in the “new normal” is to create rituals that cultivate a desire and longing for digital worship, discipleship, and community. I’ve given a few suggestions, but I’m curious, what habits, routines, or rituals, would you like to experiment with?
